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The Perpetual Support List

Putting a big toe into the lake, or even out of the tent door, is part of the art of adventure. It’s not all mountaintop views and standing ovations. Those are only the graduation ceremonies. The more ways we know to encourage ourselves, to believe we can stick a toe out, make a first move, put a foot forward, the more likely we are to take a step.

When a tough task has to be faced, one that will likely involve strong feelings and a state of being overwhelmed – from taking a class to going home for a holiday – plan ahead enough to make a perpetual support list before the heebie-jeebies set in. This is not a list of how to accomplish the adventure, but a list for what to do if accomplishing the adventure gets tough enough to want a way to calm down and get grounded. Once you’re back on track, you can ditch the list.

Having a list takes the cogitation out of the how-to, leaving only bare-bones instructions that even a momentarily mind-muddled person can use. And the simple step of making the list perpetual – by putting “Start over at the top of the list” as the last item – means never running out of options.

Perpetual Support at My New Job

  • Call Marcia during a break [include phone numbers]
  • Close my eyes and focus on breathing for 20 slow breaths
  • Call Harold and schedule some lunch dates
  • Sniff lavender oil in the bathroom
  • Call Evelyn and Frieda to schedule dinner out
  • Send myself flowers to be delivered at work
  • Eat a homemade brownie at break time
  • Send an email to Mom
  • Walk fast around the block during break
  • Start over from the top of the list

When the list is well-considered, tailor-made, and as foolproof as it can be before the moment of sticking the toe out into the cold air, it’s that much more powerful as a tool. Tweak it as you refine your sense of what works best for you. Often, I find I forget about the list when I’ve gotten only part way through it – a sure sign that I’m closing in on the graduation ceremony.

Everything will be alright in the end. If it’s not alright, it’s not the end.

~ Anonymous