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Successfully Sensitive | Sarah and Suzi

Sarah and Suzi

How could I not be drawn to Sarah Seidelmann and Suzi Vandersteen? As designers, they guide clients to find the sweet spot where self-acceptance meets great design. As unabashed emissaries of friendship and play, they teach self-exploration and design recovery through entertainment. They laugh, they whoop it up, and they invite whole people to join the party – all our bits are not only welcome, but necessary.

Suzi and Sarah’s design business is Kitchee Gammi Design Company. Joy Junket is their amusement park of a website.

In what way are you most successfully sensitive?

I think what we do really well is that when we have the initial meeting with the client we carefully gather information regarding what’s important to them in terms of the space we’re designing. Then we interpret all the information and collaborate with them on the design. With each update and new idea presented we watch carefully for reactions and feedback so we know when to make changes in the plan and when to reassure the client.

What or who has inspired you to embrace your sensitivity?

Probably responding to and working with many of our clients who had worked with other artists and designers who didn’t listen carefully to their needs and concerns. We feel design is intensely personal and intimate, and we’re privileged to be asked to work with people in their homes. The fact that we’re both always working towards spiritual progress (not perfection) leads us to listen carefully to everyone we work with, from clients to sub-contractors. We then, of course, take those data points and feed them into the design filter of Kitchee Gammi Design Company, resulting in a design that reflects the collaboration.

What are your eternal fascinations?

Beauty, function, the infinite possibilities inherent in how different people live in their homes, nature, good flea markets (treasure hunting), other businesses that bring their own points of view and have fun doing it, fashion, travel to exotic locales (Istanbul, India, Japan …), the makings of a good party, new food finds – essentially all the creative arts and the infinite offerings of new creations that we see every day.

What quest currently captivates you?

Finding a balance between work, play, and family, as all the variables are constantly changing.

We realize that many people don’t need a COUCH, they need a COACH to help them realign with their heart’s desires, so we’ve added coaching services to our menu. Sarah is currently doing additional coaching training with Oprah’s Martha Beck and is freaked out by how limitless personal transformation is.

What is your favourite kind of help to give?

We love to encourage others to live beautifully on their own terms: Don’t do what we do. Do what you do! And we love to encourage fun and laughter all along the way.

Related Reading: Successfully Sensitive | Dolly Hopkins, Book | A Pattern Language

A Bespoke Life

(untitled), by bird_flew

What’s it like to wear a bespoke suit, a suit custom-made to fit me and only me? I want a life like that. I want a plan, a pattern, a path that takes into consideration all the weird, unruly, shocking, steadfast little and big things that combine to shape me. But how?

“The word bespoke itself is derived from the verb to bespeak, to ‘speak for something,’ in the specialized meaning ‘to give order for it to be made.’”
~ Wikipedia entry for Bespoke

What plan speaks for me? Cookie-cutter solutions need not apply. If I can’t make it fit me, if I can’t make it mine, all mine, then forget it. I’ve scoured office supply stores, art supply stores, read books and websites by goal gurus and earnest cheerleaders of every stripe and found only an elite few who make the cut, including these two…

For the past two weeks I’ve been pulling together a strategic planner for 2010, guided by what artist and business school graduate (a combination that thrills me) Lisa Sonora Beam does for herself every year. Although I’m still creating my plan, the power inherent in the thoroughly self-customized system has already taken me so far further along my way than I’d imagined possible that I’m almost scared to continue. The zoom is palpable. For more about this intensely customizable system, see Lisa Sonora Beam’s “Goal Setting for Creatives: My 2010 Strategic Planner.”

One of the zoomy surprises to burst forth from my 2010 Strategic Planner process is that a friend offered to sponsor my fees for an e-course that seems perfectly designed to help me further custom-make my life: Susannah Conway’s Unravelling: Ways of Seeing My Self, which combines photography, journaling, comrades, Susannah’s strong heart, and the promise of deep self-connection.

The primary goal of both systems is to put me in touch with myself in a way that encourages invention, supports forgiveness and acceptance, and fills the silence with my voice, even if I choose to be quiet. What could be more fittingly comfortable than that?

Related reading: Book | The Creative Entrepreneur, by Lisa Sonora Beam

Flickr photo: (untitled), by bird_flew

How to Keep a Friend

Old friends, by kevindooleyStart with the first step. Proceed.

  1. Make a new friend.
  2. Spend time together.
  3. Be your true self, especially when it’s difficult.
  4. Disagree.
  5. Let them go.
  6. Figure out how to soothe yourself.
  7. Welcome them back.
  8. Willingly fall further into friendship’s gooey centre.
  9. Copy what you envy.
  10. Forget who’s who.
  11. Draw a line.
  12. Notice recurring border skirmishes.
  13. Learn about yourself.
  14. Draw a different line, one that includes all of you.
  15. Do your best, even if it’s not enough.
  16. Take a break.
  17. Notice what changes.
  18. Ruthlessly work to take back any unkindness.
  19. Hold your friend’s hands until they’re warm again.
  20. Decide to love yourself best by forgiving, even if you’re not sure how.
  21. Remember all the good things. (There were lots.)
  22. Accrue private jokes.
  23. Count up the years.
  24. Catalogue the stories and talk about them in code.
  25. Accept the whole friend, including what bugs you about them.
  26. Realize that you wouldn’t be you without your friend.
  27. Praise the change you got from them.
  28. Praise the change you resisted.
  29. Get to know your friend’s friends.
  30. Make a new friend.

Related reading: Pep Talk | Flip, Book | How to Live with an Idiot

Flickr photo: Old friends, by kevindooley

Books | A Trip to the Library

The Stress-Free Home, by Jackie CravenI decided long ago that library fines are my way of donating to the public library system. This policy allows me to continue the super-nerdy behaviour I displayed as a book-hungry youth. In grade six I left the Black Mountain, North Carolina, school library after our weekly class visits with a teetering pile of books I’d have to anchor with my chin in order to walk them safely back to the classroom. What did I care about what the other kids thought of me for being so overtly bookish? I had friends in those marvelous books and they loved me just the way I was. So there.

Instant Intuition, by Anne JirschNow, I tend towards entitlement in a library. I consider a public library to be my library. This is not always to my benefit. I’ve been known to try the patience of a librarian now and then with my deep-seated territorialism. I get along very well with librarians who respect my hunger and genuinely help me feed my need. Those who don’t, those who persist in seeing my hunger as either arrogance or head-scratching lostness … well, I do try to get along. Really, I do.

My point is that I root through libraries, even our tiny, local island branch, like a wild boar rooting through a patch of delectable rutabagas. Dirt flies. Glee galvanizes my attention. The pile of books in my arms grows. I do draw the line at elbowing other patrons out of the way so I can get to the good stuff first, but (I have to be honest here) that sometimes requires superhuman strength. Greed is so uncivilized.Idea Revolution, by Clare Warmke and Lisa Buchanan

So. I have no qualms about checking out absurd quantities of library items at any given time and then paying my dues when I can’t get through them all before they’re due. What can I say? I need what I need when I need it. A glut of food for thought is worth every penny paid.

Here are a few recently unearthed rutabagas I quite enjoyed:

The BounThe Bounce Back Book, by Karen Salmansohnce Back Book: How to Thrive in the Face of Adversity, Setbacks, and Losses, by Karen Salmansohn

Idea Revolution: Guidelines and Prompts for Brainstorming Alone, in Groups or with Clients, by Clare Warmke and Lisa Buchanan

The Stress-Free Home: Beautiful Interiors for Serenity and Harmonious Living, by Jackie Craven

Instant Intuition: A Psychic’s Guide to Finding Answers to Life’s Important Questions, by Anne Jirsch

Related reading: Make the Most of Your Public Library, New Society Publishers

Letter to a Younger Self

Beautiful old lady from Darap (Sikkim) village, bySukanto Debnath

Dear Gracie,

I’m heading into triple digits in a few months and that’s got me thinking about you, back there at the halfway mark. Don’t worry. No need to roll your eyes in anticipation of receiving Precious Life Lessons from your aged future self. Rather the opposite, in fact.

I’d like to ask you a favour. Will you think about me every now and then, back there in 2010? I’m entering my second century still going strong – and I want you intact and with me. So just hang on. I can’t do this without you.

You create me as you rub your hand across your face, as you turn over in bed to get more comfortable. You accrue me as you fold each wish into yourself with your breath. I can’t be here unless you’re there.

The most basic life lesson, anyway, is so simple it’s silly. The only thing absolutely required for anything you want in this life is to keep living. Just hang on. Come hell or high water, fortunes won or lost, loves ditto … as the short view stretches further and further into the long view, please keep on dreaming of your future. Of me.

Meet me. Assume you’ll live another 50 years. Act accordingly.

With love and gratitude,
Gracie

Related reading: Love’s Slope, A Forgiving Tale

Flickr photo: Beautiful old lady from Darap (Sikkim) village, by Sukanto Debnath