More than a year ago I wrote an article on writing out conversations between myself and the wiser part of me – “Conversations Between Me and U.” The tool of having dialogues with myself has been so useful, and in such surprising ways, that I want to tell you how it’s evolved.

While exploring Lora Sasiela’s Financially Smitten website, I found her “Money Dialogue Exercise” (which she adapted from Olivia Mellan’s Money Harmony). Sasiela suggests:

“Start by imagining that your Money is a person with whom you are having a relationship. Imagine having a conversation with your Money about how the relationship is going.”

I tried it and discovered that My Money has the voice of a swank benevolent dictator with a B.S. meter fine-tuned at the atomic level. After only one extremely intense, handwritten dialogue with My Money, everything – and I really mean everything – shifted for me. Since then: growth spurts on multiple fronts, including financial.

Next, I started the Unravelling e-course offered by Susannah Conway and, one day, while checking out the books she recommends on her website, I found The New Diary, by Tristine Rainer (a pal of Anaïs Nin’s). How have I never come across this book before? It was published in 1978 and is chock-full of journaling ideas that shift the Earth on its axis.

One of the “Seven Special Techniques” Rainer covers is dialogue. Does your leg hurt? Write out a conversation with it and find out what’s going on. Have you been wondering where your sexuality has gone? Find out, simply by daring to invite it into a dialogue. Converse with friends and family members in your journal, or chat with your garden or with your aching heart. My most recent conversation was between me and My Gifts, and produced a wonderful shocker of a result. The possibilities are endless.

Rather than promoting an unhealthy splitting of internal aspects of ourselves, Rainier says these dialogues divide the self in order to “bring it together again in greater harmony.” And that’s been exactly my experience. The more I experiment with this technique, the more sharply and quickly my world comes into focus (with lights flashing to clearly mark my now-obvious path forward) and the more I feel both like myself and wise beyond myself.

Related reading: Hidden Lives Revealed, Revise the Story

Flickr photo: The Softest Light, by chaps1

Now, I tend towards entitlement in a library. I consider a public library to be my library. This is not always to my benefit. I’ve been known to try the patience of a librarian now and then with my deep-seated territorialism. I get along very well with librarians who respect my hunger and genuinely help me feed my need. Those who don’t, those who persist in seeing my hunger as either arrogance or head-scratching lostness … well, I do try to get along. Really, I do.

My point is that I root through libraries, even our tiny, local island branch, like a wild boar rooting through a patch of delectable rutabagas. Dirt flies. Glee galvanizes my attention. The pile of books in my arms grows. I do draw the line at elbowing other patrons out of the way so I can get to the good stuff first, but (I have to be honest here) that sometimes requires superhuman strength. Greed is so uncivilized.

So. I have no qualms about checking out absurd quantities of library items at any given time and then paying my dues when I can’t get through them all before they’re due. What can I say? I need what I need when I need it. A glut of food for thought is worth every penny paid.

Here are a few recently unearthed rutabagas I quite enjoyed:

The Bounce Back Book: How to Thrive in the Face of Adversity, Setbacks, and Losses, by Karen Salmansohn

Idea Revolution: Guidelines and Prompts for Brainstorming Alone, in Groups or with Clients, by Clare Warmke and Lisa Buchanan

The Stress-Free Home: Beautiful Interiors for Serenity and Harmonious Living, by Jackie Craven

Instant Intuition: A Psychic’s Guide to Finding Answers to Life’s Important Questions, by Anne Jirsch

Related reading: Make the Most of Your Public Library, New Society Publishers

Debbie Ford’s book, The Secret of the Shadow: The Power of Owning Your Whole Story, packs a double-whammy of interest for me: empowerment + story, two of my favourite things.

I’m finding the book to be exactly what I need for excavating gems from the hard earth of my past so I can really move on with a lightened load. This kind of forward movement operates far beneath the surface and thus redefines perspective positively in ways lots of other growth-systems haven’t managed to do for me.

Here are some excerpts:

“We create a story around every incident in our lives. These stories set our internal boundaries, which dictate what we can and cannot do.

“The meaning we assign to our life’s experiences will determine whether we use the event to empower ourselves and move us forward or to disempower ourselves and keep us stuck.”

“Transcending our stories requires us to extract the gifts, lessons, and wisdom from each of the events that have dramatically influenced us.”

“Recognizing these gifts is a vital step in our healing process, because until we find the blessings in the negative events in our lives, those experiences will continue to have control over us.”

“What most people call poop the gardener calls pure potential, because he recognizes it as just the ingredient he needs to nourish his garden.”

Related reading: Pep Talk | Revise the Story, Book | One Small Step Can Change Your Life

My copy of Warren Berger’s book bristles with Post-It Notes. Its full title is Glimmer: How Design Can Transform Your Life, Your Business, and Maybe Even the World and it features the visionary ideas of Bruce Mau, along with other designers and thinkers on the topic. I’m forcing myself to stop at page 50 and recommend it to you right now. It’s important.

I have a new theory: highly sensitive people (HSPs) are perfectly suited for being designers. I’m so convinced that we’re extremely valuable precisely because of our various traits, and this book supports that idea in many different ways.

The innate curiosity, complex thinking abilities, and long-viewing we’re capable of as HSPs puts us within sight of visions that are out there, but that might actually work.

What if we saw ourselves as capable and effective at designing the world we want to live in? What if we start with the assumption that we’re built to press our faces up against the outer edge of the envelope and look beyond, to reach out and grasp what didn’t exist until we thought to touch it?

By relying on “abductive reasoning,” or the ability to think about and picture what might be, designers can glimpse possibilities that lie on the other side of the fence.
~ Warren Berger, Glimmer

Designers “live in an expansive world where they believe the only thing limiting us is the stuff we haven’t figured out yet. And they’re excited about it. You’ll hear them say things like, ‘I’m working on this really cool problem that has no answer!’ That’s what they live for.”
~ Roger Martin, Dean of the Rotman School of Management, as quoted in Glimmer

We need you. We need you. We need you. Your valuable ideas, your whacky imaginings, your unpolished, half-formed, rough, barely describable flights of fancy contain miracles with the leverage to change the trajectory of the planet.

What we’ve found is, if someone has an enthusiasm or curiosity about many different disciplines, then they can be more flexible, more empathetic, and more engaged with the world.
~ Tim Brown, IDEO’s Chief Executive, as quoted in Glimmer

Find some way to pursue what intrigues you. Never mind if no one else is intrigued. That’s the point. Be first. Be brave. Be so curious you drench yourself in questions and come out cleansed, a gift cradled in your hands.

Feeling lost on a project can be the first step toward finding an original solution.
~ Warren Berger, Glimmer

Related reading: Bruce Mau Design’s Manifesto for Growth, Creativity Prompts Compendium

“I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.”
Jorge Luis Borges

For a vast selection of cheap thrills, head to … your local public library. But dig deep. Books are only the tip of the iceberg.

These days, with the Internet acting as connector and entire regions pooling their resources, even rural and off-the-beaten-path communities often have access to vast resources through their public libraries.

I’ve been grilling librarians all over North America for decades, and I find that if I stay sharp, even while asking what I think are tedious questions, I can catch the gems they toss out – references to astonishing marvels of library services I’d never have thought to ask about.

Here’s a sampling of the offerings of the Vancouver Public Library system (and still only the tip of the iceberg). The most basic services – likely to be in all libraries – are listed first. If any of the following services attract you, ask about them at your local public library. And stay alert for hints of further treasures.

Internet Access – Search the library’s catalogue of holdings, check due dates, renew items, discover programs and presentations coming up, and access a virtually endless variety of other options, including placing holds.

Placing Holds – If the item you want isn’t listed in the branch closest to you, you can usually request that it be sent to your branch. This is particularly useful if the item is popular and you’re not likely to find it on a shelf anytime soon. Placing a hold puts you in a line-up for the item. The library notifies you when it comes in.

Interlibrary Loans – What if your entire regional library system doesn’t have the item you need? Never fear, you can request it through the interlibrary loan department, often via Internet. The interlibrarians (pardon me) will search nearby library systems first, including universities, and then search further afield until they find it. I currently have an interlibrary loan book that came from the Chicago Public Library, so items even travel across international borders.

Music, Videos, and DVDs – From the crush I regularly see at my local branch’s DVD shelves, getting free movies from the library makes good sense to a lot of people. Placing holds on movies makes this service even more useful since the generally depleted DVD shelves mean getting hold of that hot new film could take a while – and even longer if it’s not owned by your branch.

Electronic Resources – So much information is available through the Vancouver Public Library’s electronic resources that it’s easy to become overwhelmed. The prize for accessing these resources via the public library is that the library provides free access to otherwise costly resources, like newspaper and magazine article collections, encyclopedias, databases, and entire books online (through Books 24/7, for example).

Genealogical Data – The amount of genealogical information made available at local libraries makes me weep with joy. For example, the Vancouver Public Library offers access to Ancestry.com (the library version, which is more extensive than the free version), which has allowed me to discover great stories and data about my ancestors, for free.

Historical Archives – Many of the libraries I’ve hung out in have a cool, sequestered area tucked away somewhere that houses archives, information, and even photos and artefacts about the region’s history.

Pictorial Reference Files – Rows of file cabinets line an alcove in the art department of Vancouver’s central library. Inside are browsable files containing a mind-boggling array of images from magazines and other sources, organized alphabetically by topic. If you need to see a variety of bear pictures or examples of Bauhaus architecture but don’t need a whole book’s worth of info, dig in.

And smile at the librarians. They’re the stewards of Paradise.

Flickr photo: Vancouver Public Library, by singsing sky

Related reading: British TV Crime Dramas, Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title

“My heartfelt belief was that all meals should be eaten hunched over a desk with your nose in a book and everything you were eating chopped up and eaten out of a bowl with a spoon, the better to scoop it up without having to lift your eyes from the page.”
~ Polly Horvath, The Corps of the Bare-Boned Plane

What a relief it is to find buddies who understand the cellular-level imperative to delve for treasure in books. They’re the people we don’t have to explain our love affair with reading material to. It helps to grow up with such folks. And – my point here – is that it helps to be such folk, to champion love affairs with books everywhere and anywhere we can.

Growing up, I often enjoyed blissful breakfasts with my mother and my brother as we faced each other across our round dining table, lost in our own worlds, mesmerized as we impatiently turned the pages of our book-of-the-moment. To make the picture in your mind’s eye complete, you need to know that we each had a little sturdy wire book stand, so the book would sit upright and the pages wouldn’t flap around in the breeze coming through the open window. The nerds at home.

Further early training to revere and honour the bookish life came in the form of a delicious urgency about libraries. We moved an average of once a year, all around the southern U.S., and the moment we’d loaded all the boxes into the new place, Mom would haul us kids to the local library, get us all library cards (our own cards, mind you), and set us loose, with no limits about the type or quantity of reading material we chose. No matter where we were, I thus felt at home. The pure joy (writing this makes the hairs on my arms stand up with remembered thrill) of exploring a new library salved many wounds incurred in the process of being a painfully shy girl having to enter a new school and make friends all over again.

Love books. Love people who love books. Love helping people love books. Curiosity is key.

Flickr photo: Total cliche of the heart, by Irargerich

Related reading: Book Concepts, Interview | Nan

New Society is the first North American publishing company to become carbon neutral:

“In summer of 2001, New Society committed to publishing all of its forthcoming regular books on acid-free paper that is 100% old growth forest-free (100% post-consumer recycled), processed chlorine free, and printed with vegetable based, low VOC inks.”
~ New Society website – About New Society / Walking the Talk

Their catalogue – searchable online by title, author, or topic – is filled with encouraging wisdom on a wide rage of topics, from gardening, building, cooking, and sustainable energy to transportation, childrearing, and intentional communities. New Society’s books can be found in bookstores all over the world or may be ordered via their website.

“Ecological sustainability and social justice remain the deep fabric of human habitation on this planet.”
~ Christopher and Judith Plant, in a Future Perfect Publishing interview

New Society’s book list
New Society’s blog
New Society’s page of resource links

A Pattern Language, published in 1977, is volume two of a three-volume set dedicated to shifting architectural attitudes. Covering a giddy scope of topics, A Pattern Language draws on the authors’ experiences as builders, planners, and architects, and on extensive research taken to the depth of archetypal patterns.

“Each pattern describes a problem which occurs over and over again in our environment, and then describes the core of the solution to that problem, in such a way that you can use this solution a million times over, without ever doing it the same way twice.”
~ Christopher Alexander, et al, A Pattern Language

I find it impossible to resist a book which devotes entire chapters to such topics as “Child Caves,” “Filtered Light,” “Paving with Cracks Between the Stones,” “Teenager’s Cottage,” and “Courtyards which Live.” There are hand-drawn diagrams and timeless old black-and-white photographs throughout. The book is beefy, heavy, with delicate pages – all contributing to its ageless appeal.

“The Timeless Way of Building [volume one in the series] says that every society which is alive and whole, will have its own unique and distinct pattern language; and further, that every individual in such a society will have a unique language, shared in part, but which as a totality is unique to the mind of the person who has it. In this sense, in a healthy society there will be as many pattern languages as there are people – even though these languages are shared and similar.”
~ Christopher Alexander, et al, A Pattern Language

There’s a website for A Pattern Language with additional information.

Related reading: Book | Pattern Recognition, Digital Art Programs by Kevin, Why Germany is Great for HSPs

The Creative Entrepreneur: A DIY Visual Guidebook for Making Business Ideas Real

“You are not making art; you are enquiring about significant matters using art supplies.”
~ Lisa Sonora Beam

An artist with an MBA from Dominican University’s Green MBA program, Lisa Sonora Beam combined her expertise in both realms and came up with a series of prompts and visual explorations simultaneously useful and fun. The specific concepts she’s invented and developed clarify ways to combine heartfelt, meaningful work and the nuts and bolts of business.

For example, the Creative Entrepreneur Mandala combines four pathways – Heart-Meaning, Gifts-Flow, Skills-Tools, and Value-Profitability. By discovering what’s unique about me in each of those paths, guided by her instructions and encouragement, I close in on what she calls the “sweet spot” at the centre of the mandala, the place where all the pathways overlap. She describes the “sweet spot” as “the absolutely unique value you offer to the marketplace that is aligned with your innermost aspirations and ideals.”

If you yearn to be self-bossing, to create a business system that thrives, or just want to explore the possibilities, there’s a wealth of direction in this book. Please don’t let being creative get in the way of also being wildly successful.

“The processes shared in The Creative Entrepreneur can be accessed by all, but the specifics of each are as unique as the individual. That’s why a cookie-cutter approach to succeeding in business so rarely works. The beauty of the processes described here is that you are using proven tools to create your very own road map for getting from where you are right now to where you want to be. Where and how you travel will look very different from other people’s paths.”
~ Lisa Sonora Beam

Find further information about the book at The Creative Entrepreneur website and blog, and about Lisa Sonora Beam at her Sanctuary Studio website.

Related reading: Collage Vision Boards, Creative Collaboration in Great Groups

Fitting in is Overrated: The Survival Guide for Anyone Who Has Ever Felt Like an Outsider

Imagine this reasonable man’s voice speaking his encouragements to you and see if you feel more able to make your own mark in your own way:

“What if your greatest breakthrough in life depends on your coming to terms with the very issue that has made you feel ashamed?”

“For just a moment, stop and ask yourself what Ang Lee, Macy Gray, Betty Friedan, Viktor Frankl, Faith Hill, Alex Haley, Antonio Villaraigosa, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Charles Schwab, Yo-Yo Ma, and Oprah Winfrey have in common. They are all sensitive individuals who suffered painful exclusion and self-doubt before they found their particular way to thrive as outsiders. They each hit a point in their lives when they had to decide, ‘Is it more important to fit in, or can I find enough support for expressing the gifts and insights I’ve discovered as a result of being different from most people?’”

“How do you balance the desire to be accepted by the people around you with the desire to follow what’s in your heart and soul?”

“I’ve found that in order to respond effectively to someone who is treating you rudely, the first essential step is to stop for a moment and make a promise to yourself: “I’m going to handle this with decency and integrity no matter what.” Thousands of clients have found that just this one silently spoken sentence can give great strength and clarity during a stressful moment. This powerful vow or mantra can snap you out of the victim mentality and into a sense of creativity and strength. Rather than stooping to the other person’s level, your mind begins to feel clearer, better able to handle a tough situation with dignity and grace.”

~ Leonard Felder, from Fitting In Is Overrated

Dr. Felder’s other books include When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People, Wake Up or Break Up, and Does Someone at Work Treat You Badly? For more, see Dr. Leonard Felder’s Jewcy.com page and blog.

Related reading: Book | One Small Step Can Change Your Life, Stay Afloat with Healthy Boundaries