What do you allow and what do you suppress in the privacy of your own mind? Does the habit of limiting and restricting input – light, sound, chaos, profusions, and multiplicities – extend to keeping your own thoughts at bay?

We are unobserved inside our own minds.

What if, in the pure privacy of your mind, you allowed yourself to be a god – brave, bold, benevolent, and endless? There’s room for everything in there. In here. Within.

We can go far, we can safely edge our toes out over the lip of too far, and yet never leave our cranial homeland. We can…

1. Redress wrongs
2. Explore parallel universes
3. Live out other lifetimes
4. Take what-ifs to the nth degree
5. Tempt Fate
6. Try on different personalities
7. Wildly mutate time and reality
8. Follow detours
9. Grow old or young
10. Glimpse the outermost edges
11. Unshackle and unharness
12. Flex the rust from timidity
13. Emerge victorious after all
14. Probe mysteries and depths
15. Become smaller or larger
16. Enchant people
17. Rewrite history
18. Evoke strong feelings
19. Move cities from A to B
20. Predict the future
21. Resurrect the dead
22. Fall in love a thousand times a day
23. End wars

Where does your mind end? What point have you stopped travelling beyond in your mind? Your imagination, the holy infinity in your head, can show you everything missing in your outer life, in multi-sensory detail, with amendments, revisions, special effects, instant replays, and timeless certainty.

What roams free in the timeless anti-history of your unexplored mind? Find out. Follow the arrowhead at the end of the minute hand, out past the edge of the clock.

Related reading: Keyholes

Flickr photo: Daydreaming, by Kr. B.

I’m going through a growth spurt. It’s messy and unpleasant. I wobble without cease. My foundation keeps shifting.

Not that I’m knocking growth spurts. No, indeed. A hefty growth spurt, one that knocks the pins out from underneath to make way for a stronger platform to jump from, often does the heavy lifting required to get from here to the next level.

The nature of a growth spurt is that it’s a blip, a bell curve, a temporary push. We tolerate the upheaval to get to the down slope and the richer pastures beyond.

What’s needed are tools for getting through intact. Mini cease-and-desist moments inserted into the swirling maelstrom offer breathing room and calm, even if only briefly. Plus, they seem to add up, reducing the overall hyperventilation level to more sustainable doggy panting.

The core Growth Spurt Management tactic I use is an elbow-room list, a catalogue of things that make me disengage temporarily, even if only momentarily. I craft the list with brutal honesty, only listing things that really work for me, such as:

1. Listen to monumentally cheesy English-lyric Latin dance songs (no, I won’t tell you who) on my MP3 player (audio privacy, in this case, is utterly crucial; the last thing I need during a growth spurt is to be made fun of).
2. Talk to my mother, who’s a fathomless source of unconditional love. She really gets me.
3. Meditate, however I can, even if I feel like I’m only trying, and even if only for seconds at a time.
4. Write in my journal. Write as many pages as possible – there’s no such thing as too much, unless my writing hand flops over in fatigued surrender, which has been known to happen.
5. Indulge in stories – novels, DVD movies – that take me far away.
6. Watch the British TV series Sharpe, for a role model of courage, integrity, and growing through tough spots rather than trying to avoid them.
7. Walk alone in nature, particularly along deserted country lanes where no one will notice if I stump along like Frankenstein and drool.
8. Take photos of whatever the heck I want, even if I don’t remotely understand why I’m doing it.
9. Lie on the bed with the door closed and focus on breathing through my heart.
10. Write and post the articles I most need to read.

During frighteningly intense growth spurt phases, I carry my list around in a pocket during the day and hold it in my fist as I fall asleep at night.

Related reading: Pep Talk | Keel Over, Successfully Sensitive | Richard Sharpe

Flickr photo: Brussel sprout seedlings, by Librarianguish

1. Make a new friend.
2. Spend time together.
3. Be your true self, especially when it’s difficult.
4. Disagree.
5. Let them go.
6. Figure out how to soothe yourself.
7. Welcome them back.
8. Willingly fall further into friendship’s gooey centre.
9. Copy what you envy.
10. Forget who’s who.
11. Draw a line.
12. Notice recurring border skirmishes.
13. Learn about yourself.
14. Draw a different line, one that includes all of you.
15. Do your best, even if it’s not enough.
16. Take a break.
17. Notice what changes.
18. Ruthlessly work to take back any unkindness.
19. Hold your friend’s hands until they’re warm again.
20. Decide to love yourself best by forgiving, even if you’re not sure how.
21. Remember all the good things. (There were lots.)
22. Accrue private jokes.
23. Count up the years.
24. Catalogue the stories and talk about them in code.
25. Accept the whole friend, including what bugs you about them.
26. Realize that you wouldn’t be you without your friend.
27. Praise the change you got from them.
28. Praise the change you resisted.
29. Get to know your friend’s friends.
30. Make a new friend.

Related reading: Pep Talk | Flip, Book | How to Live with an Idiot

Flickr photo: Old friends, by kevindooley

If socializing in a party setting doesn’t come easily to you, you still have options other than staying home – options which include being yourself.

To cerebrate means to use the mind, to think or to think about. Rather than psyching yourself up to be a party animal, consider musing your way through the festivities.

You may find that answering the questions below as you take in the party scene inspires you to take action. (Remember that bathrooms can be oases of privacy where you can collect yourself and review your list.)

Pay attention when you find moments of joy or serenity or intrigue or connection during a party. You’ll only have fun if you do it your way, so take the time to figure out what your way looks like.

1. Why am I here?
2. Is anyone actually laughing at me?
3. Can I stop focusing on what people think of me and instead focus on what I think of them?
4. Where can I park for a while that’s on the edge of the hullabaloo?
5. Who’s here that I already know I like?
6. Who would I like to know? Why?
7. Who seems truly comfortable in this setting? Why?
8. Who seems comfortable being quiet?
9. Who’s setting the tone of this party?
10. What would I really like to know about each person here?
11. What do I want to know about the person sitting next to me?
12. Who seems sensitive?
13. Who seems nervous?
14. Am I breathing?
15. Am I too cold or too warm?
16. What response do I get when I ask someone what I really want to know about them?
17. Is there someone here who seems more sensitive than I am?
18. What can I nibble on or sip so I have something to do with my hands?
19. What if I asked the shyest person here what interests them?
20. What do I like about this setting? Decor? Food? Entertainment?
21. If I stay and please myself, what does that look like?
22. Is there someone here I’m trying to impress? Why?
23. Who here knows me the best?
24. Who’s trying too hard?
25. Who seems gifted at putting others at ease? How do they do it?
26. Who would I most like to get to know better? Why?
27. Who’s taking this opportunity to regress?
28. Who remains composed under pressure?
29. Are the hosts helping or hindering the party?
30. Who seems drawn to my calm, self-possessed stillness?

Related reading: How to Mingle at a Party | Tips for the Timid,
Pep Talk | Dance, Stay Afloat When They’re Rocking Your Boat

Flickr photo: watchdog, by 416style

1. Toss out the unloved and unused
2. Don’t finish
3. Put up a temporary wall
4. Say “I don’t know”
5. Loosen your grip
6. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going
7. Let them talk
8. Clear the decks
9. Hire help
10. Excuse yourself and leave
11. Expand your view
12. Put down the sword
13. Go where you can be anonymous
14. Wing it
15. Don’t equate alone with lonely
16. Eat less
17. Say “Oh, never mind”
18. Let go of your secrets
19. Sit alone in a small boat
20. Remove whatever’s not you
21. Lock the door
22. Rearrange the pieces
23. Expand your territory
24. Uncommit
25. Admit that help is needed
26. Move as though your joints are oiled
27. Sequester the shoulds
28. Go where no one will think to look
29. Open your arms
30. Say “No”
31. Look up
32. Loosen whatever constricts
33. Remove distractions
34. Rebel
35. Shrug and leave it at that
36. Close your mouth
37. Take a wellness day off
38. Don’t start
39. Defend your claim
40. Let someone else be right
41. Act without approval

Related reading: Giving Up Housework, 20 Ways to Make a Decision, Pep Talk | Wing It

Flickr photo: puertas abiertas, by drusbi

1. Contain and Focus – Set aside blocks of time to focus on increasing income. When that time ends, stop. Do something else. Limiting focus time increases the laser-beam quality of attention and avoids a fall into the everything-sucks vortex. {Pep Talk | Oh, Never Mind}
2. Use the Buddy System – Buddies who love us see what we cannot, both the crap we’ve wrongly convinced ourselves is Truth and the brilliance we’ve lost sight of in ourselves. Two (or more) heads multiply effort exponentially. {Pep Talk | Reach Out}
   
3. Invite a Paradigm Update – Whether you ask a buddy, a counsellor, a sponsor, a priest, or an in-law, choose someone who’s both wise and gentle. Ask them to tell you your blind spots regarding income. Just listen and breathe. Then go away and be alone. Thank them when you can. {A Forgiving Tale}
   
4. Clarify – Know your targets and line ‘em up. Top priority is food on the table and a roof overhead. Know the specific of what’s needed by when. Focus on that first. Then clarify the medium- and longer-term goals that get to the heart of your dream. Give yourself a chance to shine by reducing the greatest stresses first. {Pep Talk | Think}
   
5. Feel – Pain ends suffering. Feel the feeling – really dive in – for 90 seconds to shift and free up energy. We must enter the tunnel in order to see the light at the other side. See Conscious Finance, by Rick Kahler and Kathleen Fox. {Successfully Sensitive | Dr. Judith Orloff}
   
6. Commune with Spirit – Excellent, energy-based, free, comforting, relieving recordings of Jo Dunning’s Abundance Project audio broadcasts are available on The World Puja Network (sign up for free, then search the broadcast archives for Jo Dunning). Record and replay often. {Simple Ways to Rejuvenate}
7. Brainstorm and Barnraise – Small groups gathered to solve each other’s practical problems create synergy that moves mountains. See Barbara Sher’s book Wishcraft for how-to specifics about these effective tools. {Effectiveness vs. Efficiency}
8. Focus on Quantity – Focusing on crazy, silly volume goals – not two calls a day, but 30, for example – can demolish blockages. A focus on “how many” vs. “why” can end the feeling of being frozen in place. {Pep Talk | Ask Anyway}
   
9. Multiply Income Streams – A few or a bunch of part-time, on-the-side, mini-self-employed, here-and-there income sources add up. Many, many people earn all their income from patchwork sources. Begin with the easiest income stream, then add another. Then another. See Barbara Winter’s idea-packed book Making a Living Without a Job. {Joyful Self-Employment}
10. Increase Income Reach – Make income go further by ferreting out deals and opportunities for people in transition. For example, in Canada, Medical Service Plan payment reductions are often available during rough patches. Credit card companies and other debt carriers often respond favourably to debtors who are pro-active, who call to ask for advice and solutions that won’t affect credit ratings – like minimum payment reductions and delayed payment. {Dare to Be Vulnerable}
11. Ask a Librarian – We often don’t know what we don’t know. Librarians are professional informants. Use them. Keep questing until you find librarians whose eyes sparkle in the vicinity of question marks. Then build a relationship. Look around for special libraries, too, beyond the public sector. {Make the Most of Your Public Library}
12. Check Out Government Programs – There are those in the public sector who want to help. Ask around. Search the Internet for programs and services offered in your area. And ask lots of questions once you find them. Uncover the free service gems. {Pep Talk | Find Inspiration}
13. Plant Seeds – If you know exactly what you want to do and where you want to do it, but there are no positions currently available, launch a timed offensive. I know a woman who got a very sweet job because she was the right person for it and she made sure they knew who she was. She took in her resume. She checked back. She checked back again. She was pleasant. They hired her part-time, which led to full-time. {Book | Orbiting the Giant Hairball}
14. Launch a Trial-and-Error Extravaganza – Set a time frame and do absolutely everything you can think of. See how many of the ways in this list you can get started on. However, this is key: evaluate the results. What worked best? What sucked? Forget what failed. Zero in on all the things that worked and do further trial-and-error extravaganzas. This is an excellent way to strengthen falling-and-getting-back-up muscles and become super effective. {Pep Talk | Ditch the Chasm}
15. Ask an Expert Out for Tea – Who’s already doing what you want to do? Who knows what you don’t? Invite them out for tea (or coffee or a cocktail) – your treat. Ask and thank. People love to help. Let them. {Hero Practice}
16. Find a Mentor – Whether through a formal program or asking an expert to become a mentor, consider doing an apprenticeship under the wing of someone you admire and get along with. {Sensitivity, Curiosity, and Leadership}
17. Temporarily Take All Offers – A young friend who needed money by a certain date spread the word that for a limited time, she’d do just about any odd job. She did, and reached her goal. Set an hourly rate minimum that’s enticing and get ready to run errands, shovel manure, clean closets, can the beans, take care of the kids. Consider all offers (be safe and maintain your dignity all the while). {Pep Talk | Embrace Corny}
18. Blow the Competition Out of the Water – The only job a friend of mine could get once was typing addresses onto envelopes all day. She hated it, but she really busted ass and within a couple of days was promoted into a more interesting job. {We Are All Magicians}
19. Volunteer – The power of volunteering operates beyond targeting a specific field or company. Particularly in a small community, volunteering at a hub – like the Chamber of Commerce – can provide exposure to lots of people and show them what you’re capable of. Use the rumour mill to your advantage. {The Benevolent Love Bomb}
20. Give Out Calling Cards –Don’t wait for a job to get a card. Card stock, a computer, a printer, and help from a buddy can yield business-card-sized cards with your name, contact info, and a mini-list of your best skills. Hand them out to everyone. This is a sensitive-person-friendlier way to network. If talking feels like too much, leave the card on the table on your way out the door. {Compass Titles}
21. Start for Free to Get In – I know someone who got a prized job with a famous designer by offering to work for free to start. She got the paying job. Consider sweetening the deal in this way, particularly for a job you really want. {Interview | Carrie McCarthy}
22. Teach What You Know –You definitely know stuff, even if it’s mostly about hobbies you’re devoted to. Make a list of what you know and love. Explore ways of teaching them. Continuing education centres (often associated with public school systems, colleges or universities, or community centres) offer such opportunities. Or pin a flyer to the bulletin board at the coffee shop and teach five people in your garage. {Joy Detective}
23. Sell Something You Truly Love – It doesn’t really matter what. Do you have a favourite pen that people love to borrow? Sell them from your backpack, one at a time. Think sideways about this. Consider it another income stream. Make sure it’s something you really adore – enthusiasm sells. {Stay Afloat When They’re Rocking the Boat (the e-book I wrote and love to sell)}
24. Start the Ball Rolling – Take steps toward your big dream, even if you also peddle yourself to whomever to get food on the table by next week. Taking any steps – even the teeniest ones – toward the most exciting income option generates big energy and brings the dream closer. {Book | One Small Step Can Change Your Life}
25. Educate Through Skill Gaps – What additional skill would raise your value the most in your target income area? Get it. If it seems too costly to acquire, get creative with some of the other suggestions in this list to evoke synergy. Don’t assume you can’t just because the how-to isn’t obvious. {Pep Talk | Chin Up}
26. Attend a Millionaire Mind Intensive – Laugh if you will. I did. I went with scepticism and a willingness to give it a try and was floored by the deep changes I experienced during this weekend seminar. Yes, there are hokey bits, but they’re backed up by logic and research. Yes, parts of it are rather loud. Yes, they try to sell costly programs. All of that and yet I – a very highly sensitive person – still recommend it. That tells you something. It’s free (they charge $100 if you sign up but then don’t attend). {Millionaire Mind Intensive}
27. Pay for Expert Advice – If the advice of a professional will launch you into the next dimension of income-earning power, consider making an appointment. Choose carefully. Consider doing an advance informational interview, even if it’s short. Know what you want. {Pep Talk | Be Advised}
28. Clear the Clutter – Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Energy sticks in stuff that’s stuck. We can unstick ourselves by letting go of what we don’t love or need. For easy, gentle encouragement see Karen Kingston’s little book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui. {Pep Talk | Set the Timer}
29. Sell the Clutter – Anything and everything you don’t want or need that’s of value can be sold. Choose the easiest route: Craigslist, yard sale, specialty online forum, classified ad. Consider this another income stream. {The Link Between Mess and Abundance}
30. Relocate – Radical, but possibly worth considering. Can you move to a place that gives you a more-bang-for-the-buck lifestyle? Make sure you run toward something better rather than away from things that will follow you. Wherever you go, there you are. {20 Ways to Make a Decision}
31. Contemplate – Tune in. Alone. Walk. Write in your journal. Meditate. Open space for ideas and creativity to find you. Loose up. Use your body. Rejuvenate. {Pep Talk | Dance}
32. Look the Other Way – Life is a pie. Income is only one slice. Make the play slice the same size. If it feels too hard to set income issues aside, fake it to get started. This is absolutely not optional. See Ernie J. Zelinski’s The Joy of Not Working. {Play Anyway and Funny Practice}

Flickr photo: Lavender Bee, by aussiegall

Tricky timing, though. The upcoming winter Olympics here in Vancouver mean that housing is rapidly becoming as valuable as gold and landlords are tending toward short-term, mega-buck renting rather than longer-term.

So we’re using La Bombe to examine some out-there ideas, like moving to Germany or to a little island off the coast of mainland British Columbia.

We face lots of options on lots of levels. Decision proliferation threatens to lead to decision paralysis. In response, I’ve developed a reference list for ways to make a decision. Different ways work at different times for different circumstances.

1. Weigh the pros and cons
2. Ask a trusted advisor
3. Gather more information
4. Take a leap of faith
5. Prioritize
6. Vividly imagine various outcomes
7. Set a deadline
8. Hire an expert
9. Sleep on it
10. Do something, even if it’s wrong
11. Meditate
12. Use consensus
13. Be impulsive
14. Let joy lead
15. Abdicate responsibility
16. Consult the I Ching
17. Heed intuition
18. Do a trial run and evaluate the results
19. Ask a gathered group
20. Wait until the last moment

Flickr photo: airstream, by uberculture

Related reading: How to Stop Time, Grace Kerina’s Five Rules for Life, Why Germany is Great for HSPs

What gives you a hit of joy? Perhaps it’s watching a three-minute digital slide show of your five-year-old. Or reading today’s post from a blogger who’s guaranteed to make you laugh. Or unscrewing the lid of a vial of lavender oil.

Consider the physical nature of rejuvenation and pander to your senses. Even if your daily work is physical, a switch to a different form of physical wonderment can revive.

Experiment and keep track of what works best to rejuvenate, reconnect, and resuscitate you. Make it easy to renew your WOWs.

Here’s a sampling from my list:

• k.d. lang singing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”
• Pamela Hochschartner Viola’s photography on A Small Work A Day, Flickr, and Trunkt
• Pulitzer Prize-winner Dave Barry’s funny columns
• Jo Dunning’s broadcasts (certain ones), like from May 7th on The World Puja Network (sign in to access the archives), and her Abundance Project series (on her own site)

Flickr photo: burning sky, by Per Ola Wiburg (Powi)

Related reading: The Reset Button, Herbal Pharmacy

Grace Kerina’s Five Rules for Life

1. Cover your mouth when you sneeze. When we commit on a cellular level to taking responsibility for our own waste, in all the ways the concept implies, we become saviours. We foster intimacy, we allow future generations to live on, and we keep our neighbours from breathing up our germs.
2. Feed on what you’re hungry for. Our souls crave focus, not excess. We hunger for the vortex. We yearn toward topics, joys, and passions that tumble us into a world of deeper meaning. Let passion lead. Follow.
3. Tap your own veins. Quit waiting to be told. We embody infinities and multitudes. We know. When bombarded with the swirl of options, pressures, and rules that swarm and ebb all around us all the time, be still. Close your eyes. Tap into the deep wisdom flowing through your veins. Be big on the inside.
4. Look up. Attitude makes a difference. To find stability, look up, not down. Take to heart Henry David Thoreau’s encouragment and let the wide, breathtaking view lead: “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.”
5. Play anyway. Play even if no one approves. Shrug off the armour. Turn the clock toward the wall. Jettison pretence. Frolic. Cackle. Drool. Jump. Why? Pure joy. Connection. Power beyond the merely mortal.

Flickr photo: Decaying tulips (5), by tanakawho.

Related reading: Interview | Carrie McCarthy, Interview | Paulina Bustamante

I’m old enough to remember the days before answering machines, when the phone simply rang until someone answered or you hung up and tried again later. The advent of the answering machine triggered a conceptual shift in our culture. Now the ball is in my court if I arrive home and check my messages to find that you’d like me to call you back. You assume, and society appears to assume, that I’ll add that new, unsolicited task to my own To Do list. I’d frankly rather leave it on yours.

The point here is not that message systems are bad (not at all) but that we can consider action-requesting messages from others – whether they arrive to us via voice mail, email, or even in person – to be optional additions to our own To Do lists. Because this is not the norm, a short conceptual adjustment phase may be necessary for people who are used to equating making a request to making a tick mark on their own To Do list. In my experience, the adjustment phase is short. People get used to calling back if they haven’t heard from me as soon as they’d hoped. They get used to my lack of urgency regarding their “emergency.” And because of that shift, my To Do list is a shorter, more controllable and friendly guide, less inclined to expand without my consent.

Years ago, Tony and Robbie Fanning wrote a book called Get It All Done and Still Be Human. At the end of the book there’s a very short chapter in which the Fannings explore another way of time management:

“There are people in the world who have absolutely no problems with managing their time. They seem to float along, rather unhurried, rarely upset, getting done almost everything they want, and try as you might, you never see them popping tranquilizers or hitting the bottle behind the dieffenbachia….We asked such a person what rules, if any, he followed. Irritatingly enough, he had none. So we asked him to describe the way he attacked life. ‘Attack?’ he said. This was not a familiar concept for him. Eventually, in his own good time, he gave us the following list:

10 Relaxed Rules for Managing Time

1. Break it up – then start only what you can finish.
2. Do the least you can.
3. Ask yourself, ‘Who says I have to do this?’
4. Ask yourself, ‘Who says I have to do this?’
5. Ask yourself, ‘Who says I have to do this now?’
6. Wear a watch without a second hand, if you need a watch at all.
7. Learn to say ‘Yes!’ to insistent people, and then don’t do it after all.
8. Tell yourself, ‘Ten years from now, this will seem unimportant.’
9. If you absolutely have to do something, set aside some time for doing it when you don’t need to eat or sleep.
10. Try real hard not to worry about getting things done.
11. Only buy clothing with pockets; otherwise you’re always looking for a place to put things.
12. Don’t live by slogans – thinking is better.
13. Don’t go by the numbers; don’t think in categories.”