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Blind Dates Grow Up

My husband and I are both … hmm … how shall I put this? Let’s go with finely tuned and move on. We’re also products of different cultures. (I’ve often thought of charging admission to some of our entertaining conversations: the optimistic, anything-is-possible American (me) exchanging views with the pessimistic Cold-War-era German from West Berlin.) […]

Love’s Slope

Scree slopes of little moments compose the mountains of our relationships. We slide around, grabbing for footholds. We stretch out our arms for balance, fall, and lift handfuls of history. The ugly dress she wore on the first date. The way he held the hurt bird. The clouds that day. The small bed. Your brother’s […]

Differentiation and Intimacy

Differentiation is the process of holding on to one’s self while connecting with others. As a path to true intimacy differentiation is hard to beat. Which is not to say that the path is all shining sun and roses, but committing to being true to one’s self, particularly when there’s pressure not to, brings deep […]