Who do you turn to when the you-know-what hits the fan, when the bad news lands and you can’t make the shift to thinking of it as an opportunity, when your world goes horribly wonky and you need someone to pick up the pieces before you can even begin to face the new reality?
Be pro-active. Line up advisors in advance.
An advisor doesn’t need to be someone who knows it all, a halo-topped, superpower-wielding, bigger-than-life, mythic hero. They only need to know more than you do. And, further, they only need to be wiser in the one area you need advice about.
Take inventory. Who’s on your team?
Go so far as to identify specific people who are more experienced and knowledgeable than you on certain topics. No need to be formal about it unless you want to. Just mentally reviewing your options can save you if a crisis arises. You’ll be more likely to think to reach out to the person who can help.
Lining up advisors doesn’t mean you’re bringing on the worst by focusing on a what-if. Think of it, instead, as pre-emptive. Knowing you’ve got a plan can go a long way toward repelling the crisis. Practice calms our fears and automates our responses.
All hands on deck! Oh. That was just a drill.
{ PEP TALKS deliver a bracing blast of Grace }
Flickr photo: Friends for Ever, by Hamed Saber
Related reading: Pep Talk | Ask Anyway, The Perpetual Support List
7 Comments
Yes, to lining up an advisory team!
I used to manage technology for a NYC law firm in a previous life and a contingency plan was essential, just in case technology tragedy struck and all systems went down.
So why not have a contingency plan for those moments in our life when support will move us more brilliantly?
We plan for many things in life, why not for those dips in the road which are sure to come on the adventure?
Thanks, Grace, another timely morsel!
You’re on my team! Thanks for always being there for me.
This reminds me: I’ve not connected with a therapist since I moved down here *five* years ago. I have benefitted greatly over the years from psychological counseling and like knowing I have one available if needed.
Ok. On my To Do It Now or Very Very Soon List. Thanks Grace!
What I’m particularly interested in are ways to PRE-handle the REAL stinkers — the ones that make us gasp for air and call for fresh bloomers. I did get our earthquake-prep closet in order (glad that’s over), and I’m not wanting to be horribly worst-case-scenario focused, but there’s a quality that lures … I think it’s developing the ability to see the potential face-splat possibilities when they’re WAY off on the distant horizon and START THEN to admit they’re there (as a first step – rather than waiting until they’re tapping the shoulder none to gently, for instance) and breathe deeply and gently ask, “Huh. What can I do NOW to stave that off or line up some help JUST IN CASE?”
Here’s to the example of forward thinking techies everywhere, lining up those back-up power supplies and contingency systems. Here’s to the Boy Scout motto: Be prepared.
Thanks, Andrea! You know you’re on my team, right up there at the top.
Oh Grace, you’re soooooo right!
I take *great* comfort in my renter’s insurance which covers my stuff *and* $$ in case something happens to my apt rendering it unliveable and I have to move.
Was fascinated when a transformer blew and we lost electribity to find that I was one of the few on this floor who had candles, matches *and* flashlights, batteries, battery operated radio and cell. The general reaction was complete befuddlement — what? No electicity?
Being prepared can be *such* a comfort! And that applies to resource people as much as flashlights and stored water.
You’re not kidding, Jo. I, too, have my stash of just-in-case stuff. Under our bed, for instance, we have a crow bar (you may laugh, but in earthquake country a crow bar can get you out the door when your hands can’t), flashlights, sturdy shoes, and a hand-crank-powered flashlight/radio that also has (I think this is SO cool) a plug-in to re-charge a cell phone. We don’t use cell phones (not until someone proves they’re safe over the long haul), but I figure we can use it to recharge others’ cell phones and thus help out with people (including us) getting news out. Okay, okay! That’s such a worst-case-scenario thing – and not my point. My point is how much it SOOTHES me to just have that thing under my bed, even if I never need it.
Also, dear friends of ours are now fighting fires in their community in the dry mountains of BC. About 40 of the people who live there didn’t evacuate, but stayed to take care of the community’s homes – spread out through the rough, steep countryside. Reading their email reports I’m so awed and wowed by the power of community in the service of itself. THIS is a major tool to use as preparation against hardship: community. It’s holy.
Have always appreciated Blanche’s closing lines in Streetcar Named Desire: I have always depended upon the kindness of strangers. To me, that speaks of community and mutual help.
My cell is a “just in case” one — my biggest fear is falling and not being able to summon aid. So, for example, today when I went down to my storage closet in the basement, I took the cell with me. Turned off, but still in my pocket. Hopefully, if I *do* fall, I won’t land on it, LOL!
I lived in earthquake country for 23 years — crowbars are essential! Good for you!!